Preparing For Sexual Awakening

Today, I decided that I would share the personal account of a girl’s sexual revolution as a way to celebrate my identity as a woman.  I hope that telling my story will bring clarity and closure, and can be of encouragement to girls, women and those who are female at heart.

To begin, I was raised to believe that good girls do not.  Sex did not exist in my vocabulary.  It was something reserved for adults.

When I had my first period at the tender age of ten, much too early at the time, I was told that from then on I must not go near boys.  Avoid sitting with them in class.  Or risk going home with a baby!

It was never explained how I would end up with a baby simply by sitting next to a guy, but I started to feel insecure in my own skin.  I started to not trust myself.  What’s wrong with me, if I can’t even sit next to my classmate who just happens to be a boy.

Sometime within that year, I was given a little booklet that explained my menstrual cycle to me.  I clung on to it because it provided what little comfort I needed during those adolescent years.  My body blossomed but I saw only flaws, weight gain and obscured identity.  There was no one I could talk to.

Then, the one adult I may have confided in died suddenly in childbirth. A few days later, her newborn daughter was taken off life support.  From this loss, I began to hate the fact that I was born female.  I resented my uterus.  I directed all hate towards my monthly cycle.

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