Sneezles

milne

BY A. A. MILNE

     Christopher Robin
     Had wheezles
     And sneezles,
     They bundled him
     Into
     His bed.
     They gave him what goes
     With a cold in the nose,
     And some more for a cold
     In the head.
     They wondered
     If wheezles
     Could turn
     Into measles,
     If sneezles
     Would turn
     Into mumps;
     They examined his chest
     For a rash,
     and the rest
     Of his body for swellings and lumps.
     They sent for some doctors
     In sneezles
     And wheezles
     To tell them what ought
     To be done.
     All sorts of conditions
     Of famous physicians
     Came hurrying round
     At a run.
     They all made a note
     Of the state of his throat,
     They asked if he suffered from thirst;
     They asked if the sneezles
     Came after the wheezles,
     Or if the first sneezle
     Came first.
     They said, “If you teazle
     A sneezle
     Or wheezle,
     A measle
     May easily grow.
     But humour or pleazle
     The wheezle
     Or sneezle,
     The measle
     Will certainly go.”
     They expounded the reazles
     For sneezles
     And wheezles,
     The manner of measles
     When new.
     They said, “If he freezles
     In draughts and in breezles,
     Then PHTHEEZLES
     May even ensue.”
Christopher Robin
Got up in the morning,
The sneezles had vanished away.
And the look in his eye
Seemed to say to the sky,
“Now, how to amuse them today?”

A. A. Milne, “Sneezles” from The Complete Poems of Winnie-the-Pooh. Copyright © The Trustees of the Pooh Properties reproduced with permission of Curtis Brown Limited, London.

Source: The Complete Poems of Winne-the-Pooh (Dutton, 1998)

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